Life Punches Hard

I don't think I've ever sat at a computer as long as I have tonight, trying to figure out what I'm going to write about. Do I start with a title, or do I write everything first and then worry about title later? I definitely titled it first after a good twenty minutes. Anyway, I haven't written since before summer, and I was really beginning to miss it, so I decided what the heck...I took a 3 hour nap tonight and feel inspired to do something other than watch something on a screen. (technically I am watching the words get added to this screen, but don't get smart with me) 

Life Punches Hard

I've never been good about going to others for help, I mean, it could be about the smallest of things, it could be about anything...I just have never been good at going to others. I think a lot of that stemmed from when my parents divorced as a young kid, and just kind of mentally relying on myself throughout the years. All the difficulties and issues that have presented themselves, I've taken it upon myself to say okay Andrew, you've done this since you were 11..nothing has changed. I tell ya what people, no matter how strong you're emotionally, spiritually, physically..don't do that. The world hasn't been all sunshine and roses for me lately, and it's been frustrating. We've all been there, some of you even now, and it's one of the most discouraging things to overcome, because so often we think we're alone in the whole matter. Friends who were supposed to be there, no family, whatever the hurt, whatever battle, you aren't alone. I'm not either. We all have our battles, and we all make decisions on how we overcome them. I hope that you don't give up on yourself and make poor decisions, because we need to value ourselves at the highest amount. I believe we were each created for our own specific greatness, and hell...it's really hard for me to see that greatness right now, imagine the thickest fog, imagine a heart full of hurt, a brain that jumbles every life moment into one. I'm lost...and who likes admitting that? I don't. But we need to admit it, we need to ask for help, we need to reach our hand out and say I can't do this sometimes. I know everyone has something that they turn to when life is punching, hopefully healthy, but the last few days I've gotten down on my knees and asked God to help me. I don't know His timing for me and my life, and the awesome plan I have. But just asking for help, admitting that I can't do it alone, has opened my airwaves, from all the fear and discouragement and overwhelming thoughts. It's an incredible feeling. Nothing has changed in my life as far as work goes, or issues with friends or whatever, but allowing myself to get down and say I need help...has put me at peace with the difficulties sitting in my lap and I trust that they will all find a way to work themselves out. For the people who don't have anything to turn to, or think that at least, I promise you that there are people out there who want to be there for you, who want to help you get through the shit. I promise. Being that support is one of the most difficult and emotionally demanding things to do, but my heart was designed for those with problems, for anyone who doesn't have anywhere to turn. And I thank God for making my heart this way. 

I know, it's rough. And not what most of my friends want to read, but I needed to write it. I'm going to try and keep these going again, just so my mind can stay active on something positive. So until next time.