Senegalese grab bag

I don't know what to talk about, let's face it. So the only thing I know to do is tell more stories. Stories that I love to tell, and memories that even though sucky at the time, are amazing to me now. I don't really know where to start or how I'm going to organize which ones go in which order, or even how much detail I can remember on certain ones, but we will try our best. I will start with my most exciting memory, at the time not so much...but as a grown man it doesn't get better telling this one.

"It's raining seeds"

If you stood on the left side of our house and looked away from the home, all you could see were jungle like forests with big tall trees and very small pathways. Directly to the side of our house we had a lot of shade, most of that shade came from a very large tree that overlooked our compound. And on that tree was the thing that brought me closest to death I've ever been. ( not that close ) Growing on that tree was a wonderful fruit that my friends and I used to eat on a daily basis it felt like, it was my favorite fruit that was available to us in the village with that must ease. So we climbed the tree and we gathered as much fruit as we felt like for the day. Biting into it for the first time I remember thinking how great the sweet and sour taste of it was, and then discovering that it had a pit, or seed if you'd like to call it, in the middle of it. I remember asking my best friend Ferdinand if this seed was edible, and he said yes..along with all the other kids. I watched everyone swallow those pits and so I did too. And that was the last I thought of it for the time being. I don't really remember the time frame, probably a week and a half or 2 had passed and I hadn't been able to go to the restroom, not knowing that my daily fruit trips were probably the reason for this problem. Being a grown man at the age of 8 and all, I didn't tell anyone...not my mom or my dad, and I was okay with that, because I was a man. It was a Sunday beach trip that changed my stubborn mindset, as I was alone off to the right side of the beach I played at so much I remember feeling very sharp pains in my stomach, to the point of dropping my manly self to my knees. I had NO IDEA what was wrong with me, so I tried pooping you guys...and I couldn't, I could not poop to save the life of me. As I was hiding behind a rock, pushing my last guts out, something whispered in my ear "STOP BEING A FOOL AND TELL YOUR MOTHER" ( not really ) but I did! I walked back to the beach where my mom and dad were at and she knew instantly something was wrong with me. I told her I couldn't poop and that I hadn't been able to for quite some time..she freaked out in a very calm manner. She said let's go try again! so I proved her my pooping wasn't up to par and she realized I had something wrong with me. I don't remember the drive home because I was in so much pain, but I do remember us all walking into the house and my mom having everyone else stay out in the living room. As I was waiting in my room my mom walked in with a few buckets and a Hot water pad ( enema kit ) and so the games began! I remember crying and thinking dear God, this tube is going to go up my butt?! And yes...yes it did. As the warm water slowly started to do it's thing I remember telling my mom I need the bucket, false alarm...just pee for round one. No sooner than a few seconds things became intense, and not so fun. Sitting on the bucket I remember an almost machine gun like effect ( I usually make the noise with my mouth but this will have to do ) just shooting these pits out into the bucket in what felt like eternity. I was screaming bloody murder, as I kept unloading into the first bucket. When things had died down, collecting myself as best as I could...the damage turned out to almost two buckets filled and 40 something seeds. ( they were big ) I don't remember anything after that, probably because I had passed out very soon after, but what I do know is that going through that pain gives me an idea of what pregnancy might be like haha. My intestines were screwed up for years after that day, but never did I get mad at my friends for allowing me to consume those pits. I'm thankful for that experience. 

"Hangin' around"

I used to play soccer all the time, and not on your typical grass field. We played on a sand field so I always came home very dirty, looking like some sort of sand creature. After a day of soccer one day I remember coming home and having to go to the restroom. ( for whatever reason I didn't just pop a squat in the bush ) I remember walking through the door and wondering why it was so quiet, as if nobody was home or like it was a Sunday afternoon. Anywho! I went to the bathroom and took a squat. Sitting there, taking care of business, I was almost done...I had one last push before I retired from the activity. That last push was the reason behind my story. I remember wondering why this last hanger would not leave me alone, I squeezed, I shook around and danced my way around the toilet and NOTHING would drop. I got very frustrated and decided I needed to go in for a closer look. I stood up and looked in between my legs, only to discover an enormous tape worm just dangling there. No scream came from my mouth, just a simple head tilt and "hmmm". I had battled with that worm long enough, and I was not about to let him get the upper hand. ( I know worms don't have hands ) I called for my mom to come in and take a look, I don't remember what she said but I just remember laughing about it. So after the laughing subsided, the pushing and dancing and hip actions continued. There was no way this worm was going to hang around any longer. After a hard fought battle, that enormous worm fell from my danger zone. And he splashed hard. It's victories like this that make the strong men in life...and I WON. 

So there are two more stories for you guys...I have a hard time adding more because I write so much with each one, so more will follow. I give every single one of you permission to tell these stories if you'd like, because that's the fun in it. With all of this being said, I leave you with this quote from Counting Crows...

       "I've been hangin' around"

P.s. Sorry for the people who read when I first posted this link, for whatever reason part of the story was deleted, so I had to re-write it. I changed it up some.