Like most posts, I have no idea where to start. Sitting with my back up against the wall in my more than spacious bed, I'm not sure where to go with my thoughts. I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am as a person, what I stand for, what is important to my heart. But more so I've been thinking about other people and their thoughts, and studying them. I do that a lot, I like to watch people and see how they communicate, listen to the tone in their voices, understand what strings them together..things like that. I guess what I'm getting at is that people just generally don't care very much about anything but personal gains. How can I better my life and the things that are in it. I need to reach a certain image to gain the notoriety I feel I deserve. How is that in any way enjoyable? What will that bring you, if you ever achieve it? I've noticed how much little respect people have for each other, how little impressed or appreciated people are with their peers. Is that an example of how little we express ourselves in what we truly believe? or in what we truly have passion for? Why are we so afraid to talk about things of significance, we find ourselves talking about things with minimal to zero importance at all...on a daily basis, and our brains are hating us for it. It's frustrating for me, it really is. That's something about Africa I miss, life was valued at a much greater cost..every day, thankful...every day an opportunity for something important, to express appreciation, to live differently than the day before..to express thanks. Why can't we do that here? In Portland, OR. Do our lives have that much going on in them, that we can't focus on being better people? Respecting one another, taking focus off of yourself for once and understanding what it is to be humble and caring towards others..others who you might not think worthy, who might squander your efforts, who might laugh at you. It's worth it, to me at least. Seeing an improved character is exciting to me, seeing people live life with meaning and passion for others..that's exciting. I'm thankful, I really am. And I'm excited to continue growing and listening and not being afraid to allow myself to FEEL. Because feeling and caring and truly breathing, is the joy in the journey.
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